Now, because I am a living, breathing person with a functioning medulla oblongata, I have made the obvious choice to not live in Florida or Alabama or the waistband lining of Jason Whitlock's underwear. That said, it is pretty hot and humid today. I just finished strolling my daughter to the post office and back (Daddy Day!) and this is what my balls feel like:

A few notes here:

1. I would prefer to fry my balls in butter, of course.

2. The number of metaphorical "balls" in this image may or may not have a real-life corollary. That's between me and my personal jock strap designer.

3. Peppering your balls really *is* the tits.