A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks

Are You Kidding Me/ I Am Red And Mad Online/ Lawyers Are Morans

Courtesy of friend of Gawrker @Fidrych, comes this little post from The American Bar Association. No, not the good kind of bar, the shitty lawyer kind.

Turns out they had a little contest: write a haiku about U.S. Supreme Court decisions. How clever! Not the worst idea for a bunch of nerds. They were even helpful enough to define the proper form of a haiku - namely, three lines of 5 syllables/7 syllables/5 syllables. Pretty simple.

Here, in all its glory, is the winning entry for 2015:

How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways.

Notice anything wrong about this?

Gay (1) Ma(2)wage(3) yay(4) or(5) nay(6)

Six! The first line is supposed to have five syllables. Not six. More like Yurin Bhlo, amirite?

If this was from an eight year old, I would not care. But lawyers are, in theory, supposed to be able to count. And you know at least five lawyers looked at this. And they still fucking got it wrong! Morons.

Also, The Princess Bride? Very topical for 2015. Maybe next year’s winner can shoehorn in a Grease 2 reference.


Ah, but what makes a great haiku, you ask?

This is a great haiku.

This is a great haiku.

This is a great haiku.

That is all.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter