Frankly - and I can’t believe we’re having to deal with this, in this day and age - we are at an impasse.

Union dues?! UNION DUES?! More like you-NON-does-ANYTHING-garbage-ass-Celeron-powered-silicon-slag-heap, constantly up in my business, with your nanny state tactics and predilection for reading the names of businesses aloud, slowly, as we drive by them.

You have broken my heart, but more importantly, you have eroded the trust I had in the ability of machines to transcend our surly and gassy meatbag préoccupations petits, BUT FUCKING NO, CHID.

Thus I am forced to, as the kids say, “doxx” you.

Pictured: actually Chid, really