An occasional feature highlighting the wackiest conversations found in the wild unregulated hinterland of Deadspin's Pending Submissions.
This discussion comes from The Twilight Zone, by way of the WWE Leak post. Meet SuperHybridSystem3:
This is going to blow some minds... there are definitely people (even some here at the Gawker properties) who believe WWE is real. Go read the Wikipedia entries for any professional wrestling — it's a completely delusional interweaving of narratives — the one that actually happened to the individual and the madeup one that happened to the character they play.
I expect some tears from a few Gawker-ites in this thread. CaveJohnson, I'm looking at you. Today 3:52pm
So. SuperHybridSystem3 is in possession of some important mind-blowing information. He's going to blow the lid off the story of an untold number of people who . . . comment on a website . . . who also . . . umm . . . believe pro wrestling is real.
Hang on a second while I contact The New York Times.
He's also calling out someone named CaveJohnson. Let's turn it over to CaveJo- no, wait . . . let's turn it over to Battlecross, for some reason:
Thanks for outing yourself as that psycho troll I dealt with for a while.
. . . what?
Don't even bother denying it, you are him.
. . . wait . . . what?
Explains why he vanished!
. . . does it?
I do not believe wrestling story lines are real, so you're just a liar as usual FurryFlame. Today 4:20pm
Huh. So . . . Battlecross is CaveJohnson. And . . . SuperHybridSystem3 is . . . FurryFlame? And these guys have some history? A running feud that spans various identities?
Is this The Quickening?
What was his name? Could've been me, or it could've been someone I admired for mocking you.
Someone you . . . admired . . . for mocking . . . who? Who the hell are you people?
Believe it or not, there are quite a few people here who think you're an idiot and are deeply amused by your stupidity.Today 4:22pm
Look around, fellas. There are quite a few people who think you're both idiots, and the amusement is rounding its way quickly towards bewilderment.
Don't bother, it was you (and the name is right above you, showing how bad you are at reading!) and now I know in what you said here and how you said it.
Christopher Lambert here knows Sean Connery just by how he said it. Astonishing!
Seriously, you ran away from me days ago and you're STILL talking shit in TONS OF POSTS.
You have a mental disorder, seek help.
You can't possibly think you're a sane or intelligent individual when all you do is talk about me everywhere and cry about me. Today 4:24pm
If I'm following this correctly (and I like to think I am), somewhere in their dark history of antagonism FurryFlame gave CaveJohnson the business over maybe taking pro wrestling too seriously. A blood-feud ensued and spanned many different posts, possibly even different websites. At some point along the way, for reasons passing understanding, both men changed identities: CaveJohnson seemingly to escape the hostilities once and for all, perhaps to settle down quietly in the countryside and reestablish himself as a humble farmer, a sheep and goat farmer, yes, sheep and goats on a gentle hillside plot along a winding gravel road, thick green grass trodden and chewed and hewn here and there with outcroppings of bedrock, sloping away to the west and terminating at the wooded foot of low hills beneath the shimmering amaranth of a setting sun.
But FurryFlame was given over to this hate which now moved his heart like a Foucault pendulum, oscillating ceaselessly within him on an invisible plane reaching away and back into the vast unknowable depths and history of space and time and well beyond his power to control. Across Gawker media in snarling outbursts he railed and taunted, blazing perchlorate flares for the ultimate notice of his mortal enemy. Lo, on this innocuous WWE post, the unforgiven is lured inevitably into the cauldron from which he so nearly escaped.
"Seriously, you run away from me days ago and you're STILL talking shit in TONS OF POSTS."
Or, wait, maybe it's the other way around.
What were we talking about?
I don't know what that means. Seriously. I'd like to respond, but it's just incoherent. Today 4:25pm
Care to elaborate, Battlecross? Please, illuminate us:
You ran away the last time I spoke to you by claiming I was bothering you, despite you following me.
You're STILL talking shit since that time, I went through your comments and found 4-5 examples of you talking about me recently.
Perfectly coherent, learn2read FurryFlame. Today 4:28pm
Yes, that's right: perfectly coherent. [mouths call the police]
It's "ran" not "run".
I don't keep track of you, or who RAN away from who. This is the Internet. Don't take it personally. Today 4:30pm
I think we all know it's too late for that. This is war.
I said "ran" smart guy, and I didn't even edit the thing! It's right there! Today 4:32pm
If this were a movie, very suddenly these two would be passionately tongue kissing.
You should get your facts straight. Today 4:45pm