My son has had trouble seeing for a while, so we finally took him to the eye doctor, who (no shit) told us he needs glasses. We've picked out a pair and are waiting for them to come.

Now, they have some pretty awesome options for glasses these days, and it's kind of cool to wear funky frames. Still, I tried to warn him that some kids might make fun of him, call him 4 eyes or something stupid. I told him he may want to have a comeback ready, something like the old classic:

four eyes are better than two!

He said, don't worry Dad, I already have one:

I don't need four eyes to see that you're an assface jerk!

I am looking forward to our time together while he's suspended.