A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks

Freeman McNeil's City Chicken Recipe

Football season is upon us. College football has started, and the NFL isn’t too far behind. If you’re like me, you’re handsome. Also if you’re like me, you enjoy eating food. Also also, you’re a handsome, food-eating, football-watching type of person. I bet you’re tired of the same old fare. Nothing against pizza and wings, but if you want to really enjoy something different to eat this football season, I’ve got the recipe for you.

City Chicken is a regional food. It has its roots in the Polish culture of the northeast. Where I grew up in New York, you could buy City Chicken or the ingredients to make it in any butcher shop. City Chicken is a misnomer, as there’s no chicken in it at all. History has taught that around the time of the depression, chicken was an expensive meat. However, pork and veal were cheap. So Polish immigrants created what they called City Chicken using only pork and veal cubes. Trust me, you want this recipe. You need this recipe.

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INGREDIENTS:

  • 2 lbs of boneless pork and boneless veal, cubed
  • a shitload of sturdy wooden skewers (the thick ones, not shit like toothpicks)
  • salt and pepper
  • 3 eggs, beaten
  • 2 cups of seasoned breadcrumbs
  • 4 tbs of grated parmesan cheese (the Kraft shit is fine)
  • olive oil

Now that you have your ingredients, let’s get to cooking.

  1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees
  2. Crack those eggs in a bowl and beat the fuck out of them
  3. In a different, bigger bowl, add breadcrumbs and parmesan cheese
  4. Put the pork and veal on skewers, alternating each. Make sure to leave enough of the skewer at the top and bottom to hold onto when you’re eating the city chicken
  5. Salt and pepper the skewered meat, as much or as little as you like
  6. Dip the skewered meat in the egg, and coat it well, then dip it in the breadcrumb mix. Put it aside on a paper plate or something. Repeat with all the skewers
  7. Add olive oil to a deep frying pan and heat that shit up but good
  8. When the oil is hot and hissing, put the skewered meat in the pan and lower the heat to medium. Don’t burn this shit. Make sure to brown the meat, turning it about every two minutes (no less than two) on each side. Get all the meat browned
  9. When all the skewered meat is browned, put each one in a baking dish. Cover that shit with aluminum foil
  10. Put the baking dish in the oven, and bake the city chicken for 20 minutes, or until the pork isn’t pink inside anymore

Make this recipe. You’ll love it. I’ve made it numerous times and it just gets better and better. Don’t feel bad if you eat like 8 skewers of city chicken by yourself. There’s no shame in it.

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