The Inaugural FRPSL Draft has now taken place. What do you mean, you missed it? It was broadcast on EPSN. Yes, that EPSN - the third-rate Norwegian weather network named solely to confuse the elderly into subscribing.
Girlwonder had the top pick and chose certainly-dead-but-probably-alive rapper Tupac Shakur as the first-ever FRPSL draftee. Captain Gladys Stoatpamphlet held the second pick and took historical feminist Lizzie Borden. Milo Minderbinder selected the greatest human of all time, Derek Jeter, third overall.
With the fourth pick, RMJ=H took Kid Rock, who doesn’t look good on paper. Surprising everyone, pleatherface picked faith healer and Boney M. inspirer Grigori Rasputin at #5. Keeping the Russian theme going, keisertroll chose all-around nice guy Vladimir Putin at sixth overall.
The Amazing Sneijderman took Helen Keller seventh overall, which she [seventeen minute pregnant pause] didn’t see coming. Rounding out the first round was StuartScottsEye with up-and-comer Idi Amin.
Other notable picks include: pleatherface hero-worshipping Jeb Lund in the second round, 12th overall, RMJ=H taking noted deadbeat John Popper at #20, girlwonder taking Three Dog Night frontman Adolf Hitler in the fifth round at pick 33, pleatherface picking his own Dave Grohl player at #37, and historical funnyman and sexual deviant Mark Twain rounding out the draft at #48 by GW.
Here is the full draft:
|3||24||SSE||George W. Bush|
|6||47||CGS||L. Ron Hubbard|
There will be a one-game preseason next week for me to work out any issues with the league, and Week 1 games will go ahead on August 10. More league info to come shortly.r