The Rules

You know them: Each clue below refers to the title of a holiday-themed song in which one letter has been changed. Here I do not necessarily mean a traditional carol. For example, "Santa, Baby" is not a carol, but it is a (terrible) Christmas-themed song, and so could appear (with one letter changed) as an answer (it won't). Guess the modified song title. For example, "he was never the same after shaking hands with Midas" could be Gold King Wenceslas.

Try to keep the guesses for a given clue in a single thread, so that I don't have to go looking around. Some of these carols are pretty obscure, but I will attest to having heard them all at least once in my life. GET TO FIGURIN'


1. Welcome to The Nativity of the Future! We've given Mary, the baby Jesus and the rest the Tupac treatment. (SOLVED: O Holo Night (Morales Turpitude))

2. Are you holding whatever's making all that noise? (SOLVED: Do You Bear What I Hear? (DougExeter))


3. Well, that's one way to describe Santa's journey through the Stars. (SOLVED: O Christmas Trek (AlmondBrown))

4. Donkey? Diddy? It's us, your relatives from China! (SOLVED: We Three Kongs Of Orient Are (The Amazing Sneijderman))

5. Wow, are those actual angels over there? LET'S PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE (SOLVED: Deck the Halos (The Amazing Sneijderman))


6. Boxing just isn't as good on mute. (SOLVED: Silent Fight (The Amazing Sneijderman))

7. Where a rodent's hat would be located? (SOLVED: Up on the Mousetop (Freeman McNeil))

8. Hey, guys! Good luck on your exam! (SOLVED: God Test Ye Merry, Gentlemen (DougExeter))


9. Turns out that if you google "rugrats christmas slash porn," you get a quite a few hits. (SOLVED: I Saw Tommy Kissing Santa Claus (JDD))

10. Dear Santa, Please turn the palm tree in my yard into a vampire. Signed, UEA (SOLVED: All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Frond Teeth (StuartScottsEye))

11. Ugh, this is gross. He's going through so many tissues. I'm not sure I want carrots for dinner anymore. (SOLVED: Frosty the Snotman (StuartScottsEye))


12. The setting isn't ideal, but this swing band sure does make me want to dance! (SOLVED: Sway in a Manger (TheInfantTyrone))

13. His first words were the lyrics to Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go. (SOLVED: Wham Child is This (Steve U))

14. When the old lady saw Rudolph laying out at the beach, she just had to join him. (SOLVED: Grandma Got (Tan/Sun) Over By A Reindeer (JDD/Freeman McNeil))


15. Oh, the actor who played jolly old St. Nick sure was spectacular... look, he's coming out to take a bow...(SOLVED: Here Comes Santa Claps (StuartScottsEye))

16. When the captain found the monkey hiding below deck, he could've thrown it overboard, but instead he chose to keep it around. (SOLVED: Let It Stow (DougExeter))

17. You might sing this while reminiscing about your trigonometry class. (SOLVED: Auld Lang Sine (Old Beige Guy))


18. Before Mr. Coen, Mr. Osteen and Billy, there was... (SOLVED: The First Joel (DougExeter))

19. Who knew there were so many ways to bump fists in the winter time? (SOLVED: The Twelve Daps of Christmas (DougExeter))

20. With one of these ingenious devices, you can let your family know it's time for dinner and get help with the daily crossword puzzle! (SOLVED: Solver Bells (DougExeter))


21. We can't roll sushi with this - it smells like reindeer! (SOLVED: Sleigh Rice (Fidrych or die tryin))

22. Oh, god, they're starting! They sound beautiful, even from the car! Hurry up and find a spot! (SOLVED: Park! The Herald Angels Sing (Old Beige Guy))

23. Cosmetic surgery has rendered a Christmas classic much less inspirational. (SOLVED: Rudolph the Reg-Nosed Reindeer (Old Beige Guy))


24. Caroling door-to-door really helps me just deal with shit, you know? (SOLVED: Here We Cope A-Wassailing (Steve U))

25. I didn't know so many great drummers were Israeli! No wonder that's the country's nickname. (SOLVED: The Little Drummer Goy (JDD))


Nice work, everyone! What a waste of time!