A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks

Here Are Some Problems I Have With COUNTERPOINT

Before we get started, let's get this out of the way right now. This is so stupid. There. Happy? Let's roll.

Problem 1

I've raked a lot of leaves in my life, and this schmuck in the first picture clearly has no idea what the fuck he's doing out there. Look at that grip! How wildly inefficient can one man be with a leaf rake? He's using a backhand grip with his lower (dominant) hand! Rather than use a forehand grip and allow his legs, back, chest, shoulders and arms to do all of the work as one cohesive unit, he decided to place the burden of responsibility onto his forearm to do the entire goddamn job.


At least he's making progress though, right?

Fuck no he's not! You wanna know why that is? It's because he's not even reaching the grass with his goddamn rake! Congrats buddy, you're going to spend at least twice as long raking that shit as any normal human being would, all because you don't know how to properly apply pressure to a wooden stick. Better zip off those pant legs, pal, because you're gonna be sweating pretty hard after a few hours out there.

Problem 2

Nobody, and I mean nobody, dresses up like this asshat in picture 2 to do yard work. Look at that shit! A fucking light-colored sweater over a button down shirt with immaculate white gloves before climbing up a ladder to remove leaves from a gutter? Bullshit. If you've ever cleaned out a gutter, you know that it's a filthy fucking process, not to mention how those things break apart and force you to spend the rest of the day picking leaf flakes out of your hair, clothes and soul. There's not a man alive that would dress up to do yard work like that. It's totally implausible.


Problem 3

The guy's wife in picture 2 sucks at raking. What's her fucking strategy here? Start in the middle and see what happens? She is a model of inefficiency.


Problem 4

I've cleared snow off my car hundreds of times throughout my life, and anyone that's done it more than once will be quick to tell you the importance of gloves. If the guy in picture 3 has the foresight to keep a shovel in his car, he knows the importance of gloves too, and with a peacoat like that, he's got the gloves.


Problem 5

Look at how high that snow is! The street hasn't been plowed yet either, so the poor bastard is doing all of that miserable work for nothing. Until the plows roll around, he's not going anywhere. What a waste of time and effort.



These are some of the problems I have with the post COUNTERPOINT.


Share This Story