A scientific study.
Alex Gibney, Director: 5,000 yards (PED-assisted).
Jason Kelce, Philadelphia Eagles center: 53.2 yards.
Joe Eskenazi, SF Weekly: Under 48.1 yards.
Sean Pronger, former NHL player: 43 yards.
Kerry Rhodes, not-gay football player: Farther than Chris Kluwe.
Mike Tollin, filmmaker: Not as far as the Eagles' punter.
Ricky Williams, Heisman Trophy Winner: 40 yards.
Aimee Mullins, athlete/model/actor: 40 yards.
John Salley, former NBA player: 40 yards (approx).
Geoff Schwartz, New York Giants offensive lineman: 37 yards.
Rodney Fort, University of Michigan: 35 yards (wind-aided).
Spencer Hall, EDSBS: 35 yards (converted from FG).
Tim Elfrink, Miami New Times: 30 yards.
David Epstein, The Sports Gene author: 30 yards, but block-prone.
Drew Magary, author/columnist: 25 yards.
Jason Whitlock: 15 yards.
Seth Stephens-Davidowitz, New York Times: 10 yards.
Jemele Hill, ESPN: 10 yards.
Frankie Edgar, former UFC champion: One yard.
David Sally, Soccer Statistician: Far enough.
Alan Schwarz, New York Times: Not very good.
Brad Smith, wide receiver: Not very far.
Dave Zirin, The Nation: Straight shank.
Betsy Andreu, Lance Armstrong Victim: Thinks kicking is punting.
Russell S. Baxter, Fantasy Guru: Also thinks kicking is punting.
George Atallah, NFLPA: Refused to disclose.
Joe Buck, Fox: Refused to disclose.
Barry Melrose, ESPN: Refused to disclose.
Jeffery B. Fannell, former MLBPA assistant general counsel: Refused to disclose.
Wendy Thurm, FanGraphs: Refused to disclose.
Gabe Feldman, Tulane University: Refused to disclose.
Sam Sifton, New York Times: Refused to disclose.
Micah James, fantasy football's Magic Man: Refused to disclose.
Warren St. John, Nick Saban biographer: Refused to disclose.
Brian Hamilton, Chicago Tribune: Refused to disclose.
Alan Sepinwall, Star-Ledger: Refused to disclose.
Kent Babb, Washington Post: Refused to disclose.
Jonah Keri, Grantland: Refused to disclose.
Rick Scarpulla, US Military Academy: Refused to disclose.
Chris Stone, SI managing editor: Refused to disclose.
Jon Wertheim, SI executive editor: Refused to disclose.
Melinda Henneberger, Washington Post: Refused to disclose.
Kid golfers, The Short Game: Not depicted.
Jimmy Spithill, America's Cup Captain: What.
Kreskin, mentalist and magician: Is not a magician.
Nate Silver, ESPN statistician: Is not an athlete.
Norm Stamper, retired police chief/columnist: Does not know which way to aim.
Dirk Hayhurst, former MLB pitcher: Has mental issues.
Joe Campanella, degenerative gambler: Ignored taunts.
Jolie Kerr, cleaning expert:Women, amirite.
Sally Jenkins, Washington Post: Also women, amirite.
Steve Kamb, Nerd Fitness: Big fat liar.
Raysism, 2012 Commenter of the Year: TBD.