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I'm very, very sorry.

I've been bad.

I'm guilty of insincere and condescending exchanges with baseball and technology enthusiasts, impersonating a smarmy web 3.0 marketing toad, and intentionally derailing and undermining a baseball-themed tooth-pun chain.

I've adopted an arch tone and my exchanges here on Deadspin have not been in good faith at all.

It is with complete sincerity and integrity that I offer my deepest apologies.