A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks

It was either this or wear cargo pants...

Recently I bought a murse - a man purse for those of you not hip to today's lingo. It's leather, it's functional and it's something my wife has mixed feelings about.

Today's man has a lot of stuff - a smartphone that's the size of pad of paper, a set of keys like Schneider's, a wallet, pass for work, set of big ass headphones and maybe a notebook with some pens. That's way too much to carry in your pants and if you wear skinny jeans your even worse off. (Although if you wear skinny jeans and are a guy I don't know where to start with that problem)

If you're a parent it's worse - to the above add pacifier, snacks, bottles of water and lego - lots and lots of lego. So again - where to put that stuff?

Advertisement

In the olden days men had a place to put all this dreck; it was called your wife's purse. Little Jimmy's toys weren't carried by dad - dad was off on the golf course and it was mom's job to shuttle the wee beasts to sports and dance and where ever 60's suburbanites went on the weekends. But now we share the parenting and now us guys have to carry everything around.

Hence the murse...

Now there are other alternatives - you could wear a jacket 365 days a year. A nice corduroy blazer paired with some jeans is an acceptable weekend look for your average suburban father. But it gets hot and wearing a blazer and shorts only works if you're in Bermuda.

Another alternative is to don a vest. Let's be honest Arnold did look good rocking a vest in Commando. But you don't have his physique and I'll bet that vest caused some serious nipple chafing. A vest over a shirt is ok but you have to be careful to avoid the Henry Blake / John Candy / fisherman look.

Related to the vest are the various 'tactical' belts, equipment holders that such retail icons like ThinkGeek sell.

Advertisement

My only comment is that unless you're a UNIX sys admin you should avoid shopping for day-to-day apparel and accessories at any place with geek in the name. It's just not a good look.

Advertisement

So then you're left with cargo pants - a fashion faux pas that makes you look like you have the thighs of a NFL lineman and the calves of a skinny-assed, pasty, white guy. Cargo pants and shorts are functional - I'll admit that I have a pair (or two) bought from Old Navy (all cargoes all the time!). Being derived from military pants there is an inherent functionality in these pants - they do cover up your underwear, they do have pockets to hold things and ... well that's about it.

Try to avoid cargo pants unless you're at a cargo pant friendly zone like a hike or a playground - both things that sounded good at the time but are now just an exercise in trying to leave with your wits intact.

Advertisement

So to quickly recap - you've got lots of stuff and nowhere to keep it.

So get murse.

In part 2 of this series we'll review the murse options for the discerning gentleman.

Advertisement

ursa is a father of a couple of kids, a dog and a mortgage. In his free time he creates macros and other labour saving short cuts in MS Office.

Share This Story