A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks
A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks
Illustration for article titled Letters From The County Jail: Jake Cooper, Inmate #312B66

The following is a letter, typed up in the format in which it was received, that we obtained as a result of a series of letters we sent to inmates contained in the less important locations of the North Carolina penal system (lol). The responses are voluntary in nature, and will hopefully shed light on the unique challenges that our nation’s prisoners (but not the really scary ones) suffer as a result of their imprisonment and subsequent criminal record.


So... yeah. I got locked up in Youngstown here for fucking a pig, which is apparently illegal in this bullshit-ass state. Cops around here have nothing better to do than harass hard-working people like myself for committing victimless “crimes”, rather than tackle the real problems our society done found itself in (and you know what I’m talking about). And trust me, if you saw that pig, you’d know what I mean when I say this crime truly had no victim. Only willing participants.

As per your questions: the prison system here is okay, for the most part. I get three squares and a cot, which is more than you can get today in Obama’s America as an honest man working in a cardboard box factory. The only thing that really bugs me is how I got locked up in the first place and lost my freedom. There were no witnesses who saw me what doing to that pig, or none that I could see anyway with my two eyes and my brown one. What happened in that barn was between two creatures and two creatures only, and it should have stayed that way forever. But it didn’t. And why? All because some anonymous son of a bitch, a cockblocking piece of work who didn’t have the courage to show his or her face during my trial and sentencing, had to ruin everything for me by squealing.

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