Not all white rappers are terrible. Heck, some white rappers aren't even rappers. But some are so comically goofy and bad, whether intentionally or not, that it's hard not to love them and their rank awfulness. There are, of course, the standards, but we've all heard those before. And frankly, here at Musicspin we aim to provide stuff so marginal that you can out-hip the hipsterest of black-frame Berlin fades.
Here are a few of my favorites. Drop your number one poetasters in the comments, fool.
Little T and One Track Mic - Shaniqua (Don't Live Here No More)
Little T, or Tim Fite as he is now known, is quite aware of his borderline minstrelsy. This song makes me laugh and feel guilty and uncomfortable for doing so, simultaneously. But boy, is it an earworm.
M-Eighty - M80APOLIS
This dude lives in the same city as I do and I used to see him at shows and man, is he a lame. Among a number of dubious items on his CV, he claims to be a Wu-Tang affiliate. He apparently set a world-record for non-stop freestyling and did it as a fundraiser, which isn't terrible. It still doesn't excuse the diarrhea topped tire fire that is this video.
Li'l Debbie - I Can Bake A Cake
Almost 900,000 people have watched this video. Goddammit, Earth, get your shit together. Li'l Debbie offends me more than just about any artist out there. Unpacking all of the reasons why would be such a profligate use of my time that I will save that for when I am in the worst trough of manic depression. Just know that if a race war happens, it will be caused by this video. And yet, I...can't...look away.