A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks
A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks

In 1982 I worked for Playboy.

Technically. I wrote a game for Games Magazine, and the check came from Playboy, the magazine’s owner. This is that game.

Illustration for article titled Name That Retro Couple – Sidespin Contestem/em

RULES (read these before starting)

Given the first names of a couple, answer with their last name(s) and the TV series for which they are best known. For example, if the clue was “Chandler and Monica,” the answer would be “Bing, Friends.”


One point for the name, plus one point for the show. This is NOT a classic Sidespin game in which it is a race to be first with each answer. Instead, total score will determine the standings.

There are 84 possible points, plus bonuses available based on when I receive the completed entry:·

  • By 3:30 p.m. EST – 10 points
  • By 4:00 p.m. EST – 9 points
  • By 5 p.m. EST – 8 points
  • By 6 p.m. EST – 6 points
  • By 7 p.m. EST – 4 points
  • By 8 p.m. EST – 2 points
  • Other than that, the time of submission will be used only as a tiebreaker.

The game will end sometime after 9 p.m. EST. If I haven’t yet posted the answers on Sidespin feel free to submit an entry any time. I know some of you have busy Friday schedules. It will probably take me awhile to compile the results. Also, I WILL BE TRAVELING for a chunk of the contest so be patient if you have questions or abuse to send my way.


THE BEST AND FASTEST WAY to take the test is with this google forms link. If that scares you or you are having trouble, send your answers to me via either my now-open twitter direct messages @oldbeigeguy or email (oldbeigeguy at gmail).

HELPFUL HINTS (read these if you want to win)

  1. All of the shows started their runs before 1982, obviously. All but one started by 1978. All but two started during the 60s and 70s.
  2. Most of the shows are still shown somewhere today, through the magic of syndication, cable tv with infinite channels, and Netflix. A few are harder to find but were part of pop culture when they aired.
  3. All but one show had at least 50 episodes. That one had the couple’s name in the title, and the couple was much better known for their work in another field.
  4. The shows of four of the couples had more than 300 episodes and ten more had over 200.
  5. All but one of these couples was married. That couple’s show had a catchy theme song that was re-recorded into a Top 40 hit by a performer who has three different stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
  6. One of the characters appeared in only one episode, while their spouse appeared in over 100.
  7. If the couples had different last names, you only need to give one.
  8. Some of the couples appeared in more than one series. You don’t need to show all of them.
  9. You can go for speed or you can go for accuracy. A fast entry might help you with bonus points and the tiebreaker; taking your time might increase your score or keep you from getting fired.

Now go forth and smash the google forms link or scribble the answers on a paper towel and fax them to me.

You don’t need to read the rest of this unless you are using the paper towel/twitter/email method.


1.Jock and Ellie

2.Oscar and Blanche

3.Barney and Betty

4.Tom and Helen

5.Ward and June

6.Mike and Carol

7.Archie and Edith

8.Max and 99

9.Mike and Gloria

10.Walter and Maude

11.Howard and Marion

12.Joe and Rhoda

13.Ted and Georgette

14.George and Louise

15.Lou and Edie

16.B.J. and Peg

17.Rob and Laura

18.Bob and Emily

19.Fred and Wilma

20.John and Sue Ellen

21.Felix and Gloria

22.Henry and Muriel

23.Tony and Jeannie

24.Lars and Phyllis

25.Ricky and Lucy

26.Thurston and Luvy

27.Mike and Jill

28.Bob and Pam

29.Ray and Donna

30.Gomez and Morticia

31.Darrin and Samantha

32.Herman and Lily

33.Joshua and Candy

34.George and Jane

35.Jerry and Millie

36.Daryl and Toni

37.Sonny and Cher

38.Chip and Polly

39.Oliver and Lisa

40.Sherman and Mildred

41.Donald and Margaret

42.Buddy and Pickles

UPDATE (1:45 p.m. PST): The score to beat so far is 54. The answer to beat so far is, “Why do chicks love horses?”

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