A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks
A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks
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New York Knicks - What They Should Do At The Trade Deadline

Illustration for article titled New York Knicks - What They Should Do At The Trade Deadline

I love the Knicks. I’ve always been a Knicks fan. My favorite players of all time are Bernard King, John Starks, Charles Oakley, and even the later additions of LJ and Spree. However, it’s been a long time since they’ve been relevant. This season is proving no different than the many, many, many losing seasons since the Knicks last made the NBA finals way back in 1999. So with the trade deadline looming on the horizon, I thought we’d take a look at the roster and determine who should be dangled as trade bait to an actual functioning team, and who should remain.


Kadeem Allen - he’s a player on a two-way contract, so he’ll stay

RJ Barrett - third pick in the 2019 draft and a good building block. He’ll stay

Iggy Brazdeikis - currently in the G-League so he’ll stay

Reggie Bullock - recently returned from an injury, he’s a 50/50 to stay or go

Dameyan Dotson - nobody outside of Knicks fans knows who Dame is, so he’ll stay

Wayne Ellington - party on Wayne. He’ll get offered for trade

Taj Gibson - dude actually wears #67 so he can go

Kevin Knox II - last year’s #1 pick, he should stick around

Marcus Morris - easily the biggest target for potential trade partners. Because of this, the Knicks will trade him for a metric ton of baby wipes and the husk of some overpaid veteran


Frank Ntilikina - I like Frank. He needs to be in the lineup. He’s a keeper

Elfrid Payton - Who? Exactly. Trade him

Bobby Portis - trade him

Ivan Raab - G-League floater that nobody knows so I have no idea

Julius Randle - the “big signing” from the off-season. He’ll stay


Dennis Smith, Jr - Oh for the love of all that’s holy, just trade the fuck out of DSJ. He’s so fucking bad. He’s so fucking awful. He’s the worst player on one of the worst teams in the NBA. The team will trade him for a Petri dish of chlamydia.


Allonzo Trier - I love ‘Zo. He needs to stay and be given more PT

So there you have it. Out of the entire roster, there are at least seven potential trades to be made. I firmly believe only Morris and Portis, maybe Gibson, will be traded. Either way, I’ll still be a Knicks fan which means I should just practice kicking myself in the balls in perpetuity.

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