A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks

Of Jon Hamm

It has been Deadspin lore for several years that actor Jon Hamm used to be a Deadspin commenter.

Hamm originally contacted Deadspin pursuant to a 2012 David Letterman appearance where he claimed that he was scared off of baseball because he would have had to catch Roger Clemens. Clemens, as has since been proven, is ten years older than Hamm, and finished University Texas baseball six years before Hamm would even have been theoretically able to catch him as a freshman.

Hamm, of course, corrected himself in an awkward explanation by attributing the Rocket’s greatness for the holdover fear factor. Being a self-described “B-” catcher, he noted, he was probably outclassed by the elite arms anyway. If he still had any lingering delusions of turning pro, according to him, Hamm was cured by the auspiciousness of the Rocket’s emeritus legacy.


Which brings us to a real story—that Hamm, when contacting Deadspin about his past and offering an ass-over-face explanation for his statement to Letterman, offhandedly mentioned that he used to be a Deadspin commenter. Unfortunately, as has happened so many times before, Jon Hamm lied to us.

Hamm was never a part of the commentariat. He recently admitted to GQ that he has a problem with pathological lying and that he will sometimes lie offhandedly even when there are no apparent stakes (like when the identity of being a Deadspin commenter is at risk). In the interview, Hamm revealed that he often lies or bullshits his way through interviews, which leads to complicated and confounding results down the road.

When Hamm told Letterman that he quit baseball because he didn’t think he was good enough to catch Clemens, he was lying—but when he told Jack Dickey that he knew he was overstating the role Clemens played in his story, he added a qualifying embellishment—that Jon Hamm, yes, Jon Hamm, used to be a Deadspin commenter. Cool detail, right? Jon Hamm, who makes millions of dollars and dates movie stars, was a Deadspin commenter once.

Problem is, it’s unlikely. Jon Hamm is on the record in 2004 criticizing the practice of using internet message boards. He’s been quoted as saying he hates the anonymity of internet commenting, and the diminutive nature of trying to argue or make gags over the web. He’s also famously vain and has said he doesn’t like using a fake name when doing any type of creative work. And yes, Hamm has said that his words to him are an art form that he uses very cautiously.

Is any of this ironclad proof? No-but there is very little in life that affords us ironclad proof. Hamm isn’t not a commenter because he couldn’t physically manipulate a computer to get online and make a few comments on Deadspin, he’s not a commenter because it’s not in his nature. Real life Hamm might slightly goofier than Hamm’s Don Draper persona, but it’s only ever goofiness with a knowing market appeal.


The real Jon Hamm didn’t comment on Deadspin because he wouldn’t want to comment on Deadspin. It’s not impossible, it’s just not what you would think Jon Hamm would do. Jon Hamm said it happened—Jon Hamm said he was a Deadspin commenter, but just because Jon Hamm said he was a Deadspin commenter doesn’t mean we should presume that he was one. You should stop believing in Jon Hamm. Jon Hamm is not real. Jon Hamm knew what he was talking about.

You see, I’m Jon Hamm.

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