A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks
A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks

Pickles, or a thing to do if you enjoy things that are good.

The process for making fridge pickles is simple and recipes for a million different permutations abound on the internet. I encourage you to use any found recipe and experiment. Keep in mind that all of these recipes are intended to be consumed within approximately two weeks.

Perhaps the fastest process is to simply use brine from a recently finished, commercially-made jar of pickles you enjoyed:


Cut any fresh vegetables of your choice. In all pickling recipes, the best practice is to cut your veggies as uniformly as possible. Long spears are fine. Circles are fine. Whole baby carrots are fine. Just keep them all relatively the same size.
Warm the brine in the microwave for 1 minute.
Place veggies in hot brine.
Close lid. Let cool on counter.

If you wish to create your own brine, there are no hard and fast rules. In terms of heating and cooling, the process is basically the same as above:

Place cut vegetables in empty jar or tupperware container. As stated above, use uniformly cut veggies. A mandoline is a great investment if you plan to do this often.

Illustration for article titled Pickles, or a thing to do if you enjoy things that are good.

Prepare and boil the brine.
Pour hot brine into jar, completely covering vegetables.
Close lid. Let cool on counter. Refrigerate. Enjoy.


The basic brine I start with, for approximately one pound of Veggies:

3/4 cup White Vinegar (This is the most neutral vinegar in terms of flavor. Use whatever you prefer.)
3/4 cup Water
1/4 cup Rice Wine Vinegar
1/4 cup Sugar (White, brown, or unrefined, your preference. Just make sure you dissolve it all when you boil the brine)
1 heaping tablespoon of Kosher Salt (Use whatever you have.)
1 tsp Black Pepper
1 tsp Whole Coriander seeds
1 dash Red Pepper flakes


This brine is right in the middle in terms of sweet, sour, and salt. If you want a more sour brine, increase the volume of vinegar and use less water and a little less sugar. If you like salty things, add more salt. Again, any of these proportions can be tweaked based on your personal tastes.
Add any other spices or herbs you would like, classics are:
Garlic (fresh or powdered)
Onion (Fresh, I don’t recommend powdered in the quick pickle brine.)
Mustard Seed
Hot Pepper (Dried or Fresh)
Anything you like to eat.

Go crazy. Pickles are good.

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