Howdy, idiots. On to Week 5. Get me your damn picks on time. Here are the pertinent details for the week ahead.

BHMC Matchups:

BronzeHammer Memorial ConferenceBYE:rhythm method
DougExetervsCapt. Gladys Stoatpamphlet
Evil Roy SladevsBring Back Anthony Mason
FreemanMcNeilvsBatmansRobyn
Jay SaninvsTelemundo
marmol heatervsStuartScottsEye
Milo MinderbindervsSponsoredByV8
Peabo BrysonvsSame Sad Echo
PleatherfacevsRubdirtinittakealap

SJMC Matchups:

SonarJose Memorial ConferenceBYE:JacquesLeftFeet
cobra, brahvsBlackGallagher
Cyrus the VirusvsAnthonyMasonsBarber
DingoDenvsAaron G
DJ Jazzy Jeff WeavervsZachHalverson
DriftervsThe Amazing Sneijderman
ErgvsPostApocalypticRecSpecs
GirlwondervsMr. Rodgers Neighborhood
ItlnStlnvsMangini in a Bottle

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NFL Games This Week That You Can Pick From That Definitely Don't Include The Thursday Night Game And The One That Is Bold You Definitely Do Have To Pick:

HOU@DALSUN, OCT 51:00 PM
BUF@DETSUN, OCT 51:00 PM
CLE@TENSUN, OCT 51:00 PM
BAL@INDSUN, OCT 51:00 PM
TB@NOSUN, OCT 51:00 PM
ATL@NYGSUN, OCT 51:00 PM
STL@PHISUN, OCT 51:00 PM
CHI@CARSUN, OCT 51:00 PM
PIT@JAXSUN, OCT 51:00 PM
ARI@DENSUN, OCT 54:05 PM
NYJ@SDSUN, OCT 54:25 PM
KC@SFSUN, OCT 54:25 PM
CIN@NESUN, OCT 58:30 PM
SEA@WASMON, OCT 68:30 PM

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Also, there will be a bonus point available* to whoever correctly predicts which subset of society the NFL succeeds in offending this week. Single mothers? Zoroastrians? Albinos? Time will tell. Enjoy the week (get your damn picks in).

*this is a lie