SCENE: Office of the world's fastest, smartest, most motherfuckin' funniest attorney you ever did see. Creates a new email.
Me: We need a conference call. When are you dumbfucks available?
Engineer: Anytime between 9 and 2:30.
Architect: That works for me too.
Project Manager: I can make it.
Me: [clicks “Post” on new Sidespin article; senses silence] Huh? Oh, um... so it sounds like 4:00 works?
Engineer: I'm, um, not available.
Project Manager: Nope.
Me: So 4 is out? Do you guys like having a job?
Me: [sighs] Ok, how about tomorrow at 8:30?
Engineer: Works for me.
Architect: Me too. Here's the call in number.
Project Manager: Talk to you then.
Me: [resumes commenting for remainder of afternoon]
8:30: [finishes 9 mile run]
9:45: [comes into being]
Me: [calls Engineer]
Me: Where are you, you glorified Lego builder? We're all waiting!
Engineer: Durrr, I called at 8:30, boss. No one was there.
Me: Oh, um, I changed it to 9:30. I had some very important stuff come up. Guess you’re not important enough for me to tell these sorts of things.
Me: Anyway, I can't believe you're late to this. Everyone is really pissed at you. We've all got things to do, you know.
Engineer: [dials in]
Me: [puts phone back into garbage can; starts writing new Sidespin article]