So, your team was in the top 10 for the draft this past year. How did they do? Let’s take a moment to review:
1. Browns: Myles Garrett. Results are hard to tell here. He’s only played 4 games. 4 sacks, though. But, it really doesn’t matter who the Browns draft, but poop stinks no matter what shape it’s in. And DePodesta or whatever that guys name is needs fired.
2. Bears: Mitch. Mitchell. The ol’ Mitcherino. He’s showing promise, but promises are hard to keep in the windy city, like cheap umbrellas and loose fitting hats. Keep an eye out for him in the next few years.
3. Niners: Solomon Thomas. Geez, these top three teams are still terrible. And with a Shanahan as a coach, this one is completely impossible to gauge. Congrats to them on getting their first victory. It may be their last, but it’s a start for next year.
4. Jags: Leonard Fournette. That’s one top player they got! If only people didn’t downplay the role of a good RB, like Fournette. They should get 3 good years out of him before the knees give way, but those are going to be fun years to watch. If Watson doesn’t come back next year kicking as much arse as he did, this is probably my top pick for best draft choice by a team.
5. Titans: Corey Davis. Not impressive yet, but, eh, he’s not quite a complete bust unless you count his gameplay against him.
6. Let’s just skip this one, because nothing can help the Jets.
7. Chargers matter even less than the Jets, though they are more fun to watch when a certain QB is throwing a fit.
8. Panthers: Christian McCafe, because his taste is so ssssmmmooottthh. The best WR starting at RB that money can buy. He fits so perfectly into this offense when Cam is on his game. It opens up the run, the quick dump off, and the downfield options just by having him in the lineup. He’s not the best pick in the draft, but he was the right pick for this team. That alone is worth a nod of respect to the Panther’s front office.
9. Just, we might never know if he doesn’t play. Put ice on those knees for the remainder of the season, b/c your team sucks anyway.
10. KC: Mahomes. WASTED PICK! No impact. Not worth talking about. Not worth being around. Just quit wasting my team’s time and quit already!