by Clue Heywood
Look at these damn people. Young, attractive, probably rich or maybe have a rich relative they borrowed the boat from. Looks like they’re having a good time. Aren’t they just the damn worst? Like, don’t they ever stop their fabulous lives of having fun and drinking and dressing like Ralph Lauren models, and think about all the awful shit in the world? Awful shit like writing for Gawrker, penniless and ugly, living in a fifth floor walkup with nine roommates who last showered in 2013? Ugh. People who have it better off than me and enjoy themselves are just the worst. I hate them. And you should too.