Hmmm, slow day out there in Deadspinland today. Still, there were a few laughs to be had, if you looked hard enough. Without further ado...
Favorites, in no particular order:
Madoffs Mets got things rolling with this easy dig at "Peter" Carroll in the Seahawks Shutout post. Didn't realize you were on such formal terms with him, buddy. Anyway, this was a funny joke. Later, he added this clever jab at the Redskins in the Steven Jackson post. A good day's work.
This callback joke by Raysism in the Recruiter Voicemail post creates such a funny mental picture. She's talking in a sing-songy voice to a bear violently attacking a monkey! I hope nobody goes and actually syncs up the audio to that video, because it won't be as funny as it is in my mind. Anyway, this is the Comment of the Day.
I first saw this joke, by dope in the Hoops Photos Post, before he went back and edited it. I'm glad he did. It was OK to start with, but it took on a much darker quality with the change that we're all better for.
EditBay took a funny shot at the dying print journalism industry in the Balotelli Shoes post. Is the lack of proper punctuation a further shot at the seriousness with which newspapers take themselves as compared to blogs? In this reporter's mind: probably. Good joke.
Total Fucking Duds
This whole goddamn thread, started by burner callistagingrich, is a train wreck. The original "joke" is beyond stupid, but the facts that no fewer than two idiots take this stupidity at face value cements its dud status. And this "discussion" is not only not buried in the grey, it's got second fucking billing on the page! On that note, it looks like the comments are going to be getting another overhaul, which, if the beta test post is any indication, will not only eliminate the grey, but also render legitimate comments incomprehensible. Really glad I signed up to do this job, guys.
Hit Bull Win Steak had a huge joke a couple of weeks ago in a Drew post that got like six million pageviews and about thirty thousand recommendations. This got a bunch of rec's too, but it's lazy garbage. Buddy, if you realize three-quarters of the way through the "joke" that it's not working, don't just slap a Simpsons reference in there and try to make it work. Abandon ship. Why are people recommending this? Also, double dud for not auto-dismissing those trash piles of responses. That's what the button is there for.
This little bit of uncreative stupidity from burner NaughtyDaughty is the worst. There were probably a few ways you could have tried to put a decent joke together on this premise, but "see you after your jail sentence"? Take that trash back to the Gawker comments.
Maybe it's a bit unfair to single out this joke by RigmasTFT as a dud, but this kind of comments really get me. There is actually a really good premise behind this joke, but its execution is totally botched (just like Aaron Hernandez hopes for, lol). In fact, if you make the exact opposite joke ("Gronkowski is the second Patriot this year to have to worry about the electric chair", or some such). The way it's done here makes no sense. Now, a talented commenter who might have come up with an actually funny joke won't make it, because the concept has been spoiled. Also, kudos to EoDS for responding to each of the last two duds. That guy sucks.
Enjoy yourselves tonight, boys and girls, and come back tomorrow with more jokes. As always, if I missed something, point it out in the 'ments below.