A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks

Roundup - Tuesday, September 23, 2014

I had a grand old time reading your comments today, and tonight's favorites all have a similar flavor, so let's chow down, shall we?

Favorites and Duds from Today's Commenting

Favorites, in no particular order:

Laconic NHL commissioner fusilliGaryBettman struck gold first today with a welcome dig at Michigan football. I didn't check in quick enough to catch Petchesky's edit, so I can only assume the one-liner's original context lends an added layer to fGB's jib, but in any case I always love a stone-cold joke like this.


Resident curmudgeon Raysism had a spectacular day on his way to notching three favorites (!). He made the most of Burke's screengrab with this ridiculous pull that rests on a wigwam of associations: the pictured fist as "rock;" an eponymous Johnny Depp role; and "Edward Paperhands" to slam the door shut. Forget about any of these and the whole gag collapses. Ray stuck around through lunchtime to offer up some classic Deadspin fare via making light of the Rob Bironas mess, and ended the day with a slant rhyme that PFTCommenter could be proud of.

The Flyers Ice Guys post has a lot of crap comments, but at least Derry Murbles legged out a somewhat-wonky-but-altogether-satisfying wordplay that I certainly chortled over. Still, I feel like ten less words could push that comment into very-very-good territory.

Speaking of pop music echoes, I don't know if DougExeter intentionally put T.L.C. in my head with this nifty bit in the NFL Tablets story, but now I'm humming "Waterfalls." Doug also stopped by the Toilet Stadium schematic for a real head-shaker that brought Mobutu Sese Seko (whoever the hell that is) outta the peanut gallery. This comment is the sort of sentence I mentioned in Doug's profile that veers sharply off-course at the last minute, and in so doing leaves you blinking in a cloud of dust. Ya goon.

Speaking of the Toilet Stadium schematic, I want to take cobra, brah!'s sledgehammer bash out for dinner. That's just a wonderful reading of the image and perfect economy of language right there, folks. And it's also your Comment of the Day. Congrats, cobra.


Well, well, well, Bring Back Anthony Mason. It's been a while since you stopped by Deadspin's comments, and Lord I'm glad you did for the Dillon Day Suspension post this afternoon. I've only been writing Roundups since April, so it's hard to get a good sense of BBAM's voice, but I love this comment because it has a Same Sad Echo kind of patina on it, whereby Mason hurries you along the thought-stream while trying desperately to force a square peg into a round hole. A lesser commenter might try to package this gimmick in an uninspired [a > b] fashion, but BBAM slides one register above the pounds/speed verbiage for a very nimble joke.

Finally, I'm going to make an exception to the "No Authors" rule for the favorites (is that a rule?), because Tim Marchman stopped by the Phil Spector Mug Shot for some nerdist humor in the extreme. So dumb.


Total Fucking Duds

Good Lord, OliverClothesoff. I mean, must you comment on every post? And must you comment multiple times on every post? And must you be seriously unfunny multiple times on every post? Sheeeeesh.


That's it for me tonight. Hey! Good work, everyone! This was a fun Roundup to write. Leave your favorites or omissions downstairs, and enjoy your evening.

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