A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks
A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks
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Roundup - Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Illustration for article titled Roundup - Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Looks like yesterday's funny train just kept on steamrolling on into today. A lot of good jokes today; let's see who made the favorites.


Favorites and Duds from Today's Commenting

Favorites, in no particular order:

If you had the patience to sift through those prattling on about Erin Andrews having no place in sports journalism, there were a number of good efforts in the Kirk Minihane Non-Apology. John, Maddened wrote a criminally under-appreciated dialogue that, granted, requires a bit of lifting in the setup, but when you read through, it's actually quite simple in execution. I especially enjoy the imagined demotion of Andrews from NFL journo to Perkins waitress to homeless shelter to Dennis and Callahan. Smart stuff.


It's all too easy for running gags to become hackneyed and overused, but somehow Same Sad Echo keeps finding ways to inject life into his stupid Gary's-Sleeping-With-My-Wife saga. I think the success of the Gary gimmick rides on two parallel currents: 1) its rather sporadic appearance in the comments section makes you almost forget about it; 2) when Echo does drop Gary into a comment, it always comes out of left field, and the sudden uptick into pure outrage at being cuckolded yet again is so completely unexpected. Today's Gary installment earns a favorite because of the vaguely tangential connection to the Minihane non-apology, which acts merely as a springboard for this idiot in Deadspin's comment section to bitch about his neighbor saying he has a tiny penis. Lord. Did I just write 128 words about Echo's neighbor Gary? Yes. Yes I did. God help me.

Our third favorite in the Erin Andrews post comes courtesy of IronMikeGallego, who went with a very smart Under-Explained List. Like Maddened's comment up there, IMG brings the progression full-circle, so that the absolute worst place for Erin to land work is as a radio jockey spouting moronic shit-drivel. (I'm working to trademark "shit-drivel" as my own buzzword for a new gig as a shockjock radio hack, so back off, losers.)


RMJ=H demonstrated his techie chops with this pithy continuation joke in the Litigious Donald Sterling post. Between that one and a Clippy photoshop from way back when, you've really got some anger issues with Microsoft, don't you, RMJ?

In the Durant-Bieber picture, Pleatherface tore off a funny misapprehension dialogue for a solid knock on that Canadian asshole.


Much fun over in the Audubon Society story, probably because the "Death Trap" word choice in the headline doused many of you in creative energy. Madoffs Mets earns top billing and Comment of the Day honors for this dark swoop, which I agree benefited from a slight edit on the punchline. As we all know, the two-participant conversation is one of Madoff's favorite maneuvers, and this vignette really only needs "Magic" as a listed character to carry the "Fuck you Larry!" kicker over the top. Well done, Madoff.

Also in the Audubon Society thing, pkellen2313 dropped another anvil on Christian Ponder's woeful accuracy. I like this quotation joke because it stays so close to the sentence pkellen cited until unraveling into "intercepted and returned for a touchdown."


Revis & Butthead finally nets a Roundup debut with a very pkellen-esque one-liner in the Dwyane Wade Camp post. A number of people chopped away at the Wade-plays-no-defense tree, but in my opinion all that's really needed there are five simple words hinging on the double sense of "defense." Why over-season the cut when you can sear it in mere seconds?

In addition to a horror-comic type of delivery, girlwonder can also write self-deprecatory jokes, like this tidy correction bit in the Jeff Francoeur story. My sources have told me that she's a Padres fan, and so I imagine gw publishing that one with an audible sigh and slug of Woodford Reserve. Get well soon.


Total Fucking Duds

Duds are cancelled. I spent all my energy and anger last night. You know where to find duds, if you're into that sort of thing. Holler at me down below, and enjoy your Humpday evening, hucksters.

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