A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks
A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks

Roy Rogers & the Cougar

Illustration for article titled Roy Rogers  the Cougar

Roy Rogers, the singing cowboy, once ordered some custom made boots. They were of the finest leather with the most gorgeous design anyone has ever seen. When they arrived he was so excited that he just had to put them on and go for a ride. He kissed Dale goodbye, saddled Trigger and off they went. After a couple of hours he came up on one of his ponds and, it being a warm day, decided to take a quick swim. He stripped down to his boxers and, leaving his clothes and boots neatly piled on a log sand jumped in the water. The temperature of the water was perfect and Roy enjoyed a nice, leisurely swim but when he finally came back to shore he saw a cougar chewing on one of his new boots! When Roy shouted the cougar ran off but his boot was ruined. Roy was as mad as a singing cowboy can get and he called Trigger back from wherever horses go when their riders take swims and rode back to his house as quickly as they could go. He told Dale what had happened and, selecting one of his rifles, headed back out to deal with the big cat. You are to understand that although Roy was usually the most gentle of men it is never a good idea to mess with a singing cowboy's boots. It didn't take long for Roy to track the cougar down and, seeing the critter trying to escape, he whipped out his rifle, took a bead, and killed the animal with one shot, singing the whole time. Roy climbed down, picked up the cougar, and draped it across Trigger's saddle. Trigger didn't care for this but put up with it because, although insane like all horses, Roy's singing calmed him down to somewhat below homicidal maniac territory. Roy road Trigger back to the house, singing as was his wont, and they arrived in good spirits. Dale came out onto the porch and, seeing the cougar draped over the horse, spake thusly:

Pardon me Roy, is that the cat-that-chewed-your-new-shoe?


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