A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks
A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks

Side Letters: "My Ass"

Illustration for article titled Side Letters: My Ass

Welcome back to Side Letters, the feature in which we print our favorite reader mail. We should take this moment to remind you that all emails to Sidespin and its editors are on the record unless otherwise specified. Now for your letters.


Subject: Doug, come back to Twitter goddammit

From: Sidespin Staff

To: DougExeter

Dear DougExeter,

Doug, come back to Twitter goddammit.

Go fuck yourself,

The Sidespin staff

"If you can't handle me at my Lenny Dykstra, you don't deserve me at my Tim Tebow."


Subject: Sidespin Logo Contest

From: Sidespin Staff

To: Same Sad Echo

Dear Same Sad Echo,

Where's the fucking logo?

Go fuck yourself,

The Sidespin Staff

"When there was one set of handprints in the sand, it was then that I walked on my hands beside you, despite you asking me not to because it made us look ridiculous and we were on Spring Break and oh god why did I tell those officers we weren't 21 yet?"


Subject: Florida Man Suffers from Cognitive Dissonance?

From: Pete Prisco

To: Pleatherface

Dear shit-for-brains,

Granted, I had to look up "cognitive dissonance" on dictionary.com, and I'm still a bit confused about what it means, but I have one thing to say to you: my ass.

Go fuck yourself,

Pete Prisco

Sent from my Android

Subject: Tweets that are good and true

From Reggie Miller

To: Universal Enveloping Algebra

Dear Universal Enveloping Algebra,

I saw your post entitled "Tweets That Are Good and True," and I can't help but wonder if you're pretty far off base. I did some Twitter-snooping of my own, and well, check these people out:



That's more like it. Anyway, I'd appreciate it if you changed the title of your post to "Tweets That Are Bad and False."

All the best,

Reggie Miller

Side Tweets


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