A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks
A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks
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Songspin: Before & AfteRihanna

Hey guys, it's back!


Illustration for article titled Songspin: Before  AfteRihanna

It's the Songspin you know and love, BUT WITH A TWIST!

This time, we're not doing any letter substitutions. Instead, this is a before & after edition of songspin, that includes sports! Because sprots, amiright?


In this game, you will have fifteen clues. Each of the clues references both an athlete AND a song/artist (mostly artists). The clues are made in such a way that the first part of the clue will be more concrete, and the second half will be more abstract. If the second half is a music artist, it may be clued by referring to one of that artist's famous songs, for example.

The things will be connected by a sound in most cases, not a whole word. For example, if the clue were "What do you call a US soccer player who will tell you how he feels about you in the most explicit terms?" the answer would be Clint Dempsey + Cee-Lo Green, so Clint Dempsey-Lo Green.


I don't care how you spell it. Just get it right.

Here we go.

What do you call:

  • 1. A former Rockets guard who has a strong affinity for women's undergarments? Steve Francisqo (Steve U) (Definitely not RMJ)
  • 2. A rapper/actor beholden to his mother's advice who throws a lot of interceptions for a 2013 non-playoff team? LL Cool Jay Cutler (FeloniusPunk)
  • 3. A terrible former MLB manager who fits into an infant's ballet shoes? Bobby Valentiny Dancer (PleatherFace)
  • 4. A debauched pop star with infinite maturity and poise in the pocket? Miley Cyrussell Wilson (Doug Exeter)
  • 5. A former Steelers QB who never rose above second billing? Kordell Stewart Garfunkel (AttemptedChemistry)
  • 6. An oft-maligned US soccer player who has a strange fetish for a specific type of female? Landon Donovan Morrison (SteveU)
  • 7. A former pop diva who shits the bed in every meaningful pre-playoff NFL game? Whitney Houstony Romo (Marmol Heater)
  • 8. A misunderstood (selfish?) NHL superstar who has incendiary intercourse? Alex Ovechkings of Leon (AttemptedChemistry)
  • 9. A former Knicks star who can't decide if he is or is not impressed by his girlfriend? Patrick Ewings (Marmol Heater)
  • 10. A rapper and producer who's the best shooter of all time? Dr. Dre Allen (SteveU)
  • 11. A pivotal grunge band who got paid a ton of money by some NFL teams and decided to suck and then recently retire? Nirvannamdi Asomugha (AttemptedChemistry)
  • 12. The current QB of a pathetic franchise who OH GOD DON'T JUMP! Robert Griffin the Third Eye Blind (Marmol Heater)
  • 13. A former NBA multi-title-winning center who has a terrifyingly high voice? Shaquille O'Neal Young (SteveU)
  • 14. A former MLB roided-out slugger who is considered by many to be the father of the modern American songbook? Jose Cansecole Porter (Doug Exeter)
  • 15. A parody song by a European group that almost never skips a beat in its entire NBA career? What Does the Fox Say C. Green (Girlwonder)


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