1. Outside door: How else are you even going to get in to all the other doors, or conversely, away from all other doors without this door? You really think the outside door isn't the best of the doors' work? Sack up, buddy. You've got some growing to do.

1a. Revolving door: Far and away the best of the exterior doors. The potential for misunderstanding and the fact they revolve counterclockwise really help elevate them for the doors.

1b. Sliding glass door: The bird accident: fatality ratio here is so high here and the sheer ventilation factor makes this an essential effort from the doors.

2. Refrigerator door: Both container and access point. A solid entry in the doors' canon.

3. Bathroom door: Love/hate relationship on this one of the doors'. Still, sequestered poops were an unquestionable improvement for civilization.


4.Bedroom door: It's the room you have the most sex in, unless you're a weirdo. So this is a fine contribution from the doors.

5. Car door: Would be higher if you were a rich douche. But you're not, so this one of the doors is usually pretty middle of the road.


6. Barn door: Euphemism for zipper, an all-ages access point for male and female genitalia. I should've rephrased that.


7. Palme d'Or: I'd be lying if I said I knew who recent winners were, but looking at the Wikipedia page of past winners, the top award at Cannes really doesn't look like it's some candy-ass film snob award. There are good movies on that list. Doors!

8. Coffin door: Way overpriced. One of the least popular efforts in the doors' catalogue.