A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks
A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks
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The Final Four: SWACtion Edition

Illustration for article titled The Final Four: SWACtion Edition

It's the day of judgment. Four will enter, one will stand victorious atop Mt. SWAC.


For their efforts, the winner will receive an "I CLIMBED MT. SWAC" bumper sticker, even if they haven't actually done it.

We had some close races in the first round, but now it's the business end of the competition. Lets meet our competitors:


Demechery Hickingbottom

Demechery is currently an offensive lineman for Alabama State. Now, before you assume he's just a dumb guy because he's an offensive lineman, I'll have you know that Mr. Hickingbottom is a criminal justice major, and probably wants to be a cop when he grows up.


After spending two years finding himself at Copiah-Lincoln Community College, Demechery transferred to lovely Montgomery, AL. On the social media photo site Eyeem.com, our fearless Hickingbottom has his own profile, which he has playfully named @BigHick70.

Is it enough to win your vote?

Felando Warr

Don't let the name scare you, Mr. Warr seems to be a gentle soul. Born and raised in Memphis, TN, Warr now makes his hay at Alcorn State as a wide receiver. Through four games this year, Warr has put up big numbers: 4 catches for 88 yards and a touchdown!


Mr. Warr is no stranger to social media, either. He has embraced caps lock to the fullest in his delightful Blogger profile, where he lists his occupations as "SPORTS N NOTHING ELSE!!!" He also maintains a MySpace profile, on which his handle is "kingpdingaling." The creativity knows no bounds with this one.

Can he pull out a win?

Quinterris Toppings

A quick note before we get to our third candidate: Mr. Toppings' first name is spelled with one R on his official team's website, but with two in several other sources, including his own Twitter profile. No one said a University was good at spelling. Toppings is a freshman quarterback for Alabama State, hailing from Eight Mile, Alabama. Eminem would be proud.


Toppings only has 429 followers on Twitter, so now's a great time to hop on his bandwagon. He may need the cheering up, too!


Will he get your vote?

Jaypee Philbert

A surprise winner from the fourth group, Mr. Philbert is also an offensive lineman from Alabama State, also studying criminal justice. What the hell, guys? Have some creativity. Jaypee's parents either had a sick sense of humor or really didn't like individual letters. They must not have gotten along with estranged aunt and aunt LN Degeneres and GNE Buss.


Unsurprisingly, Jaypee does not have much social media. I mean, with that name, would you? Exactly.

Will he win? Probably not, but maybe!



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