A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks

The Week in Review: May 12 - 16, 2014

This wagon train just keeps on rolling, don't it? 23 different commenters garnered favorites this week, and the leaderboard is jam-packed with funny makers. Let's go to the shot sheet.

Last Week's Swinging Dicks

We have a very satisfying three-way tie for 3rd place. RMJ=H, Madoffs Mets, and Captain Gladys Stoatpamphlet netted 2 favorites and in so doing have earned themselves this paint-can lid with what can only be a canine paw print on it. Hope y'all like robin's egg blue.


RMJ=H's favorite on the week is this silly misattribution gag in Tuesday's Cyclist Selfie post. Looking at it again, I think my favorite part is Phoebe's aunt who smells like a hairless cat. Where do you come up with this shit?

Utility player and all-around good guy, Madoffs Mets, made everybody purr on Friday with this beauty of a dialogue joke. Meeeeeooowwww.

Young buck Captain Gladys Stoatpamphlet is loving life in the majors, and his infinitely-progressing edifice joke in the Qatari Construction post deserves another plaudit.

Five (!) of you hooked 3 favorites for 2nd place honors this week: pkellen2313, Same Sad Echo, DougExeter, cobra, brah!, and marmol heater have each won a jar of heavily used carpet-cleaning water. Keep out of reach of children, please.


I'm giving the nod to pkellen2313's heartless ice-down in the Sepp Blatter story from Friday. Chilly stuff, my man.

Same Sad Echo's glorious dialogue in the Tipster post got us all through Wednesday afternoon.


That Aaron Hernandez comment on Thursday was so damn good, DougExeter. Enjoy your jar of water.

cobra, brah!'s Thursday offering certainly deserved its Comment of the Day ribbon, and I have more to say about it below.


marmol heater's week of self-flagellation culminated with this gaffe in Magary's Reality Show piece. BOOM!

Our singular 1st place huckster—with 5 friggin' favorites this week—is grizzled veteran, MattinglysSideburns. Please provide your mailing address, because you've won this adorable shepherd collie, which Senseless Apprentice swears is mostly housebroken. Congratulations.


We have to go all the way back to Monday for MattinglysSideburns' favorite, which skewers Donald Sterling from an off-the-wall direction. That is a Deadspin joke, if ever there was one.

But wait there's more …

The Monday Comment of the Day, from SavetoFavorites.

The Tuesday Comment of the Day, from RMJ=H.

The Wednesday Comment of the Day, from Same Sad Echo.

The Thursday Comment of the Day, from cobra, brah!.

The Friday Comment of the Day, from girlwonder.

The Lessons of the Week

Mad Bastards All, the Ur-text for our current Roundups, traditionally included a "Lessons of the Week" heading, which Miserable Shitehawk used as an opportunity to "riff on whatever was going on with commenting in a given week. Sometimes those were targeted at specific people or jokes, other times I used that space to work out something that had been bouncing around in my head for a while." I can only hope to do MS justice in that regard.


This isn't an especially big concern at the moment, but it could use some saying before real flamewars or revolt break out: be careful with how you go about replying (if at all) when some no-name comes after you. Certainly there are specific types of jokes and hard-nosed commenters who make jokes where part of the gag rides on people just not getting it. There are other times, however, where it can clutter up the place and make one look foolish. The regulars indeed form something of an exclusive community—and rightly so, since communal effort at humor is required in the Kinja age—yet, because of that in-group perception, the Yahoo! and ESPN types can quickly take on a mob mentality. Then, the expected escalation and we've got 154-participant threads on our hands. That's no good.

As I said, just keep this in mind before you reply to some pixelated jackass, who at the end of the day wants you to return fire; that's all. Keep in mind that you are contributing to a comment section with extremely high visibility on the web—a comment section historically notorious for off-color and at times rancid offerings. Keep in mind that, when big stories break, hundreds of thousands of real human people come first to Deadspin for analysis and, perhaps, comments.


I don't mean this to be some imperious pontification on my part. The Exeters and marmols of the world can pull off good, funny rejoinders flawlessly. All I'm saying is: think hard before you press "reply." Caveat emptor.

Let's end on a lighter note. There was a time, it seems, that dialogue jokes were under discussion in MBA, and Shitehawk's view was "sure, go for them, just make sure they're good." Well, we had some fantastic mini-screenplays this week, notably from SavetoFavorites, Same Sad Echo, and cobra, brah!. These three crafted uniquely different dramas-in-miniature, and they deserve a bit more commentary.


SavetoFavorites' stage directions, which I'm titling Dissent in the Time of Korea, contains no one punchline, as Senseless pointed out, but it's the sheer endurance and pitch that carried this thing into the favorites on Monday. Moreover, the speed of delivery rushes the reader down the page to a dénouement dripping in black humor. Goddamn that's wicked, StF.

Same Sad Echo's vignette, which I'm titling The Editors, thrives on a quaint back-and-forth, and like StF's concluding pathos above, Echo's sharp decrescendo made me audibly say "aww" before I laughed.


cobra, brah!'s dialogue, which I'm titling A View to a Fairway Crash, of course makes no use of named characters, and instead pulls an Everyman golf announcer from the ether for protracted delivery. There's not a per se punchline here, simply a snapshot in time of an absurd event. I also can't pass up mentioning how much I giggled at "gossamery timbre." You goofball.

Finally, I need to give a shout-out to StuartScottsEye, who wrote a Roundup-worthy paragraph a couple Thursdays ago. Sadly—and this is my fault—the Roundup was posted at approximately the same time Stu was crafting this masterful bit in the Pynchon Explainer. This thing is so good it dragged Marchman down for a pat on the back. You know you've done right when Tim—who, along with Scocca, I sort of consider the professorial wing of Gawker's writers—says "This is a very, very good comment." Which it is: a very, very good comment. Thanks, Stu.


That'll do it for awards and ramblings. I'm throwing this up here today and not tomorrow because it's been on the brain since I woke up. Yell at me down below, and get some rest.

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