Serena lost, and while I’m not inconsolable, I’m a little sad. And I’m super mad at Drake online. But I can’t poke fun at the dude’s flow, though. So here are some positively terrible songs. Just the goddamned worst.

1. Eden XO “The Weekend”-

More like the weak end, because this song is a blown-out butthole.




2. Fred Durst’s Reality Check Remix What’s Going On” -

This whole project takes Marvin’s beautiful song and fucks it with a Frankenstein corpse of Scott Weiland, Puddle of Mudd guy, and Perry Farrell. It’s too bad strychnine tainted heroin wasn’t what was going on in the studio that day.




3. Migos “Hannah Montana”

These guys caught traumatic brain injury in a bottle with that Versace shit. Props. This though? This is like somebody with Creutzfeldt-Jakob insisted they be allowed to film a rap video for their Make-a-Wish and then hired a dirty kleenex that Hype Williams jacked off in to direct it. Fuck. Outta. Here.




4. Bob Dylan “Joey” -

Bob Zimmerman, I love that old guy. But I’d rather listen to a forty-five minute song about that motherfucker on Friends than ever hear this piece of shit again.


5. Lil’ Debbie “Two Cups” -

There is more art in four seconds of that video of girls eating poop in a cup than in the entirety of this attempted lobotomy of Western civilization. If you’re on the fence about white people, don’t press play on this. It will make you fucking hate us.