Hey guys! Guys! Look up here! Look at this awesome thing!

Ummm . . . this! Look at this! Pretty cool, right?

W-wait! Before you scroll down, look at the . . . the wheels! See how they spin? Wow, right? Spin-spin-spin. Imagine how fast it can go! Should we try it out? Push it across the floor? Yeah, let's push it ac-

Wait! Don't scroll down yet! There's really nothing to see down there, certainly nothing as awesome as the uhh . . . the lights! Did you know this car has great big flashing lights on top? C'mon, let's push it across the floor and see how fast it goes! Yeah? Ready? Here goes . . .

VVVVVRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!! Ha ha! That was awes-

DO NOT SCROLL DOWN THE POSTS.

Oh, heh . . . didn't mean to slap your hand like that. Sorry . . . oh, don't look so hurt. I said I'm sorry. Hey . . . look at the side of this thing! It's got writing on the side! Can you read what it says? It says speeeeeeed, and it says . . . look over here, hey LOOK . . . it says prooooooowl, and it's got a great big "R", too! Pretty neat! And look! LOOK. LOOK HERE NOW. It says veeeeeerrrrry faaaaaaaasssssst. Why do you suppose it says that? Huh? Hey . . . hey, why do you supp- dammit I'm asking you a question . . . why do you suppose it says "very fast"? Could it be because it goes super fast when I push it across the ground? Let's see!

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VVVVVRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOO- DON'T SCROLL DOWN OH GOD NO DON'T CLICK ON DOUG'S . . . oh God, oh God oh God oh God.