A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks
A Bad Place Full Of Bad Jerks
Illustration for article titled Advertisement: Use This Writing Instrument For A Variety Of Purposes

It’s hard to adequately explain the many purposes of a pencil. Got something to say? Use a pencil to write it down! Make a mistake? Use the end with the eraser to undo that mistake, then turn the pencil around again to write correctly!


So what’s so great about a pencil? It has many more uses! A pencil can be used to:

  • scratch your back
  • point to something
  • stab your enemies
  • chew on when you’re stressed
  • create the illusion that it’s made of rubber if you hold it loosely between your thumb and forefinger and gently move up and down
  • be the first kindling in a fire pit after your plane has gone down and you’re stranded on a Pacific island with no company except this pencil which you will now burn to survive

So run out to your local Target, Wal Mart, Staples, Office Max, or any other store and purchase one or many pencils. Get one while they’re cheap, because pencils don’t last forever.

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