Hey, dickweeds. I've been doing a little recon work in my spare time, if you will, crossing borders and traversing this fine country of yours in search of photos of Deadspin commenters. Below, I've amassed just a few, in hopes that an image of your favourite commenter will allow you to identify with the gentlemen you fraternize with on a daily basis.
All Over But The Sharting
Think that's a lot of tubed meats? You should see what's in his dungarees. Who better to start with than the man to whom I extend a token of gratitude for inviting me 'round here? Make sure to email the man should you have any suggestions for the next Foodspin, I'm sure he'd love nothing more than to read each and every one.
Good old BH. More than full of shit, this one's got a penchant for flatulence. If I may be colloquial, Bronzie likes to fart. It's quite normal for intestinal gas passed per rectum to have a characteristic feculent odor, but this boy smells like roses and sweet tea.
All-in-all, this guy is top-notch.
Same Sad Echo
Pictured above, the venerable Same Sad Echo, on a brave voyage to the local corner store for a pack of Marlies Red and a couple of pepperoni sticks. SSE started driving his son's mini-bike shortly after wrapping his Toyota Lumina around an oak tree, emerging with a distinct redolence of Chinese cooking wine. Despite the aforementioned details, he's a pretty solid dude.
One of Deadspin's funniest, STF developed a propensity for humour because of years of ridicule at the hands of school bullies. While his early moments in comedy could be described as nothing more than novice, no man on the planet can better craft a rich dialogue joke featuring the likes of Descartes, both Amedeo and Franco Modigliani, and the cast of TNBC's City Guys. If I could be a poor man's STF, I would, alas, only a select few are gifted with such talents as the man pictured above.
Raysism, you are one spooky looking motherfucker. Funny thing is, Ray would love the opportunity to punt a football, where it not for the fact he hasn't had a medial collateral ligament in either knees since the days of yore when he commented under the name shuttledik. Punting? Blimey, the only thing Ray knows about uprights is that the last time his dick did a similar function was during the season finale of Murder She Wrote, May 19th, 1996. I love this dude.
Thanks for reading. Join us next time for another tantalizing instalment of Your Favourite Commenters: A Visual Guide.
 ya, this looks like shit.