Following the immensely popular Your Favourite Commenters: A Visual Guide Parts I & II and the brobdingnagian amount of fan mail received at Sidespin offices, my editor (me) sent out an email to the site's nonpareil (me), in hopes of having one of the staff (me) twist a proverbial marijuana cigarette of words extolling the virtues of the Deadspin staff we all know and love.

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Emma Carmichael


This majestic Vassar College grad created quite the stir in the Carmichael family when she decided not to attend in-state Vermont, opting instead for that elitist hole in Poughkeepsie. While Emma - or as the men in her life refer to her, Cargo - forever turned her back on Vermont, she's still a fan of the Catamounts, and fittingly, owns an absurd amount of cats. An average night for this statuesque knockout includes a frozen microwavable dinner with her kitties and Rebecca Lobo highlights on a continuous loop in the background. The entire Deadspin readership, yes, both of them, were pleased when Gawker traded Emma back to the site for that lightning rod of negativity Tom Scocca and his whiny Baltimore Oriole-related diatribes. Emma Carmichael; a tall, bountiful tulip in a field full of reprobates and pariahs.

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Jack Dickey


Dickey, pictured here in a red v neck sweater beneath his private school garments, is as elitist as a journalist could be, though you'd never know it. The current Columbia student is a gem of a writer, and when not with his nose in the books, can be found writing for Deadspin and constantly refreshing the Veronica Mars Kickstarter page to see how much of his Manti Te'o money he's wasted. Alongside his colleague Timothy Burke, who may very well be nothing more than a collection of computers and screengrabs of typos on ESPN, Dickey tackled the Manti/Lennay story with a youthful vigour that forever cemented his place in the lore of sportswriters who work for blogs owned by gay, money-hungry pompous British assholes that couldn't give a fuck about sports.

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Tommy Craggs

Shit, Craggs, you look knackered. Tough day? What did you do? Contemplate writing a stellar example of sportswriting only to put on your famous pink gorilla suit and wallow in your own self pity, staring at John Walsh's phone number on your Nokia flip? With all the talk of AJ ruining Deadspin, it's facile to overlook what he really ruined; your chance of editing ESPN's coterie of specific websites like ESPNW and that Page2 abortion. Nowhere on the planet is there a better writer who wastes more of his time not writing than Tommy Craggs. All jokes aside, Craggs is one hell of a writer who keeps the Deadspin ship afloat, despite the collective efforts of his staff to sink it faster than a Lusitania with that tard Daulerio at the helm.

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Thank you for your continued of Sidespin. Stop by again for another instalment of Your Favourite Deadspin Writers: A Visual Guide.

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