First, I would like to say thank you for all the people who have lied and said nice things about my column. I had to take a break from it for the past two weeks because my summer ended and my school year began. I figured since New York State has stomped my nuts into the ground with the new Common Core Curriculum, I should probably spend some time, you know, teaching my students.

Never fear though! Starting (hopefully) tomorrow, the Weekly Autumn Movie Guide will begin, and it will be released on Saturdays until next summer. As much as I'd like to have my Fridays off and do nothing but recommend second-view movies, alas I cannot.

So please stay tuned and keep reading my half-assed articles and please recommend them to family and friends, if only to give them one more reason to loathe your very existence.